Kids feel safe when they are surrounded by familiar things. When you tell them that you’re moving to the new town, their all-world crumbles. The fear of the unknown is the most common reason why children have such strong resistance to big changes. And relocation is one of the biggest one in their young lives. That is why you have to be very careful when you’re moving with your little ones. There are some mistakes to avoid when moving with children that will make this transition easier for all involved.
5 biggest mistakes to avoid when moving with children:
- Hidding the reason for the relocation
- Not including them in the decision process
- Laying to your children
- Decluttering their rooms without their consent
- Excluding them from the moving process completely
Why you’re moving is extremely important to your children
One of the mistakes to avoid when moving with children is to hide the reasons for the move from them. Surely, children are delicate. However, they are at the same time surprisingly strong and reasonable in some difficult situations.
When you’re facing with such a huge decision like relocation, your kids need to know the reason for this massive shift. You may think that it is a hard change for you, but it’s 10 times harder on your kids. At your current home, they have security because they are surrounded by things that are familiar to them. When you yank them from that safe bubble and drag across the country without any explanation, it’s logical that you will encounter some resistance from their side. Your kids have to know the reason for the move.
Sit with them and honestly explain to them why the relocation is inevitable. Talk to them openly, patiently, and with tenderness. You will be surprised how understanding they can be when they are treated as equals.
Not including your children in the decision process
As the parent, you’re having the last saying about the relocation. However, if your children don’t think that they have the say in it, they will start to rebel.
Moving against the children wishes will be a nightmare, and your life in the new home won’t be any better. Children can hold on a grudge for a surprisingly long time. That is this is one of the crucial mistakes to avoid when moving with children. Even if you already made your decision that relocation is the best for your family, you need to get your kids on board.
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Make a family meeting and put the theme of relocation on the table. Prepare yourself for a lot of questions and arm yourself with patience. Tell your children why you need to move. Explain what good things that will bring for all of you. Ask them what they think about it. If they feel that you are respecting their opinion about this matter, the better the chances are that they will accept it more calmly. This is the situation that you need to treat your kids like they are older than they are. They will surely appreciate when you’re honest to them.
Laying to your children
Nobody likes to be lied and manipulated. Children are very sensitive to lies because they are coming from the persons that they trust the most – their parents. Once you tell a lie to your kid, that special bond will need a long time to heal. Especially if you’re lying about something so important like moving to a new town.
Lies about the move are certainly the biggest mistakes to avoid when moving with children. Parents often lie their children about the reasons for the move, the date of the moving day, the moving away party that they will throw them, about the attraction in the new cities that don’t really exist. Never lay your kids about what awaits them in the new city. It’s not a good way to force them to accept the move.
Telling them that an amusement park is just a block away from your new home and that you will take them every weekend isn’t the right solution. Especially if the nearest amusement park is actually two counties away. Your children will focus on that and put all the excitement into such alluring expectation. Can you imagine how will they feel when they find out that isn’t true? That you were laying to them?
They will be totally devastated. That betrayal can leave serious consciences to your relationship with your kids. When they can’t rely on that you’ll be honest to them during such a huge change, how can they trust you for smaller things?
No matter how you spin it, you should always be honest with your kids about every aspect of the relocation. If you are moving to Ontario, there are so many great ways to spend family time in Hamilton, so you won’t even have to make stuff up.
Decluttering kid’s rooms without their presence is one of the biggest mistakes to avoid when moving with children
Imagine that someone busts into your bedroom and throws out all your favorite clothes. Or the music records that you’re collecting from high school. Will you feel sad and angry?
Well, that’s exactly how your kids will feel if you get rid of their stuff without their knowledge. Children guard their little treasures with the utmost care.
Of course, that doesn’t mean that you should relocate all of your children’s belongings. Any reliable movers Ontario will advise you to declutter your home to cut on the moving costs. As you should, but not without your children there. The thing that you can do, is to set the limit on how many toys each child can pack. Of course, you can help them with that, but don’t intervene too much. Make this a teachable moment where your kids will learn the difference between the things that are truly important to them.
When it comes to getting rid of the toys, be firm. Every child will stress out that all of its toys are equally important to them. Explain to your children why they can’t bring all of them. Stick to the limit that you make for them and don’t cave under their tiers.
Excluding your kids from the moving process completely
If you have hired Oakville movers to help you with your relocation, that you won’t have to deal with the biggest moving tasks. Still, there will be also some things that you need to take care of yourself. Excluding your children completely from this process is one of the mistakes to avoid when moving with children.
You aren’t doing them a favor since they will think that their involvement isn’t relevant. Let them be involved. Let them help you with packing the things that are safe for them to handle. Ask them to take your dog for a walk so it won’t make a mess while you’re organizing the boxes. Take them to a store and let them help you buy the packing supplies. Ask them to make a list of the best activities for kids in Hamilton that they wish to visit. Or the games that you can play while traveling to the new home.
From the smallest task, you can make the one that your child will feel like the most important one.
It is very beneficial for their self-esteem to feel like they are helping with the move.